Thursday, July 28, 2011

If I really loved you this would be ok... but it's not

[Darlene Rae's blog]

I haven't had the time or energy really, to sit here and blab away the days of my life, but I'm feeling a bit insomniac right now and I guess I can update you all with the fact that Bradley Roux and I broke up a couple of weeks ago.

We've known each other since we were kids, been like best friends, and a few months ago, when it seemed that he started dating this girl, Trixie, I realized that I really liked him more than friends being that I couldn't shake the jealousy and I just wanted him to be with me. After the bit of drama with Casper, when we finally started going steady I thought I was in love! Everything was so sweet, life was wonderful, I started thinking "I can live like this... with him... forever".....

I've known that he was a werelion, and prince to his pride, but... I never imagined anything like this. He took me to a initiation ceremony, celebrating the transformation into manhood I guess, something... and....

I really don't know how much detail I want to get into here... I guess the short of it is... IT was very violent, lots of fighting, it got very bloody... someone DIED!

I passed out a few times, but the pride and friends there of took it as if nothing, at least that's what it seemed like to me. I guess challenges are taken very seriously, a fight to the death sometimes... The winners seemed to be rewarded with any girl they wanted, and females strutted into the arena naked and willing... and... Brad... he just took her. In Front of everyone, in front of me... I wanted to scream, but I was too scared, too freaked out, I tried to run and I passed out. I must of hit my head hard because I woke up in my bed, alone.

The next day we met up to talk but no words would come out of my mouth, my mind was blank, my heart was gone. He tried to explain how it was part of him, his inner beast, a part of his tradition, his culture... that it didn't change how much he loved me. I didn't know how to feel, and without having to think about it, after having a hard time trying to to find words, it seemed that it came so easily to say that for me it did change.

....What really hurts is that I feel like I'm loosing a friend.


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